Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Silence

Aww.......It's silent other than the hum of my computer. Everyone is sleeping, well except me of coarse. I just finished doing some paper work for some Close To My Heart orders I need to put in first thing in the morning. I should be putting my tired little brain to bed, as I will have to make sure I'm up bright and early to get the orders in as they are for our online clearance sale.

So there's less than a month before my oldest starts Kindergarten. It's so hard to believe. Where has the last 5 years gone. Seems like just yesterday he was born. Yes, I know and now I have 3 sweet energetic boys. Part of me is very sad that my little man will be starting school and part of me is happy and excited. I'm torn, but I know he'll do great and deep down I know it will be good for him. He's a very social boy, so it will be nice for him to get out and make more friends. I wonder if I will shed any tears when I take my little man on that first day of Kindergarten.

Ugh! The man wants to go camping. I so don't want to go. I wonder what happened to me and why I'm such a Pris in my old age. I used to love to go camping when I was a kid and a teenager. I cringe at the thought of pit toilets, no showers now, bugs and dirt. I told him I'd considerate if we had and RV or a cabin, but even then I still just shutter to think about going camping. I think some of my problem is that camping holds a lot of memories for me. Unfortunately the most resent and extremely painful memory I have is that that's what my mother was preparing to do and was so looking forward in doing when she suffered from her very untimely heart attack which ended up taking her life. Oh how it hurts to even think about camping. Any time I think of camping or hear the word it brings the memories flooding back of that awful day. My husband thinks I should go in my mothers memory, but it just hurts so much to even think about it. I guess one of these days I'm going to have to suck it up and go. Ugh!

Oh how my brain wanders and thinks when all is silent and I'm alone. Don't get me wrong I love my boys it's just a little harder to think when you have 2 little boys running around and 3 shrieking and squealing with glee.

Well if I'm to get up early I must go put myself to bed.